its and it's

You know how people don't know there its from it’s? You know how some people put a space after opening a bracket? also forget to close the bracket? You know how some people confuse their spelling of quiet and quite, there and their, stationary and stationery?…hmm so that ‘people’ is me. 

I recently sent out 100 invites for my film’s screening with the wrong ‘it’s’. I also put up a insta post yesterday where I wrote ‘some’ instead of ‘sum’.

I once wrote a paper on furniture where I had written about furniture in ‘public spaces’..I had proof read it a thousand times. However, when it got printed ( was read by at least hundred people) my well meaning husband pointed out the word ‘pubic spaces’ that I had written 3 times in the article. 

My husband is a grammar nazi, with extreme OCD and I think he needs a special mention for bearing with me. (I had to think over the word bear..is it bare? or bear?…hope I got it right)

My husband cant understand how I can’t see a double space where there should be a single space (especially, when I can see a 1 mm error on a measurement in wood, or can get completely OCD with somebody’s bindi being slightly off). But that is how it is.

In school, I used to get 14/15 on my essays. My teacher would ask me to read my essays aloud in class..however if you looked at the sheet, it would be covered in red lines..then there will be one note in red at the bottom (by my sweet english teacher)…

“I should have cut 7 marks for spellings and punctuations, but haven’t..please be more careful!!”. She should have cut those 7 marks.

I was always encouraged to write and I wrote, I wrote letters ( still do),  occasionally poems…passages..but it was replete with errors. I don't think I have any learning difficulties..its just that I don't care. It is not automatic in my head. So once I have written it out, even if I go over it a hundred times I won’t find the errors. I need some one else to edit it for me. That person needs to have a sense of humour.

I was also a Convent bred snob once upon a time. I used to laugh at people’s pronunciations. It was only when I went into the world beyond my school that I realised that I speak English like a Gujju. I remember a well meaning friend telling me, “it is plan not plaan, it is bamboo not baamboo or bumboo”. But I think it was too late. Now I also have a south Indian strain in my english.

Recently someone told me, “I think, you think in english”…I had a very unsure expression at that time. The thing is I think in a mixed language. When I have to argue with my son I do it Gujarati, when I have to write, I write in English. Some times the occasion demands the language and I use it accordingly. This also includes my limited knowledge in hindi, bengali, marathi, kannada and french. 

A friend had posted sometime back on FB, about how CVs need to be proof read and should be free of typos and errors. However I think I have met very efficient, creative and smart people who can’t spell right or have bad grammar.  They just lack the skill of writing and speaking in English. So to judge a person by his writing skills would be a loss to the employer.

I have a friend who had done his schooling in Gujarati and was trying to learn english in college. He was a sport and laughed at his own guffaws, but today I think it was just juvenile of me to join in and make fun of his struggles. He knew how to write one language well, I don't know any. 

My mom had the same struggle. She too, did her schooling in Gujarati and could never get her head around the english grammar and spellings. Inspite of being the butt end of many jokes, she went on and expressed herself unflinchingly. In English and other languages. Her most common ploy being to talk in English with those who don't know it and to talk in Gujarati with those who know English. She unknowingly had hit upon a very sharp communication tactic which came of good stead when she had to communicate with the parents of her french daughter-in-law, who did not know english. While all of us fumble and share awkward smiles, the two mothers, have uninterrupted conversations in french, gujarati, english and pantomime. 

The reason I am writing this is because I feel like writing, but don't have the wherewithal to edit what I write. I really enjoy the grammar Nazi jokes and learn from them. So keep them coming. However don't expect my writing skills to change. And I will post it here, so have a field day. 

P.S.: I did run this writeup through my husband, the first ‘there’ on the page should have been ‘their’, he saw it, was about to correct it, but instead said…”i don't think we should edit this one!!” 

A note about him: He painstakingly goes through my communications and creative outbursts. He has also developed the keen sense of editing without changing the emotional tone of the sentence. Also, I must mention, that he is far more irritated by people who write in good english but lack any personal insight.